National Anthem as comic interlud
By Dominic Kidzu
It is profoundly amazing that the National Assembly believes that the number one key to Nigeria’s development and happiness is the national anthem. Aren’t these guys simply lovely? Who would have thought that they will have so much presence of mind to throw in a bit of comedy to lighten the burden on the shoulders of Citizen Nigeria. Shouldn’t they try making skits?
Being always driven by the need for a quick buck, skit making should very well suit their temperament, wouldn’t you say. Like mighty Akpabio in red regalia dancing on the little finger of Asiwaju, himself appareled in the manner of a deity – what a big hoopla that should throw up around the commonwealth.
As if the so called national anthems meant anything to anybody, in the first place, besides merely throwing up high sounding promises and banalities that have long been abandoned. Actually the anthem comes to mind only when Nigeria is about to play football or some bloke is going to make a usually empty speech to the people, who are usually equally too hungry to listen, anyway.
None of my close friends remember the lines of the national anthem, either Lord Lugard’s girlfriend’s or the Pa Benedict Odiase’s version. A sad reality though. But when I reminded them about how shameful it was that they couldn’t recite their country’s anthem, they all threw up their hands in the air and chorused that Nigeria didn’t know them either, so it was quid pro quo. Quite an amazing story to tell.
G. O. Fagunwa or even Amos Tutuola, of ‘The Palmwine Drinkers’ fame would have found the story rather balmy and difficult to spin. Especially that in the boa-constricting throes of death by violence or starvation that Citizen Nigerians finds themselves, their representatives in Abuja are only concerned about the lyrics and propriety of the national anthem. Are these guys stand- up comedians or things. Yet, they look like them, dress like them and behave like them, so in all probability,…..you guessed right, again.
On an excellent legislative day, all things being ship-shaped and sea worthy, and the Order Paper smelling mint notes and things, the item on the top of the paper would be settling the palaver between dainty Miss Flora Shore, with her pinky frippery, and Pa Odiase’s salt and pepper moustache. Not the price of fuel, or cooking gas, or the price of rice or its rebellious cousin, garri. Or the killings, kidnappings, minimum wage, and unemployment. But national anthems!
Can someone get me another bottle, please….Before I have a heart attack! Our leaders are simply amazing. All the beautiful manifesto before the general election’s, only for us to end up bottoms up with the national anthems on our famished dinning table. One would gladly pass them off as regular clowns if they weren’t that many and didn’t take so much from the common till for their work and play. The Christians know how to manage their frustrations with the quip that “it is well ooo’. I’m a Christian too, but listen to me, it is not well at all at aIl.
Kidzu is our former staff.
